Clubbing as an Introvert


I love to dance, but I don’t love to be around strangers. Usually, I satisfy my desire to break it down by turning up the music in my living room and shaking my booty in the comfort of my own home. I get to move it in style but not be groped by strangers who “accidentally” brush against me. It’s the perfect solution. Sometimes, however, I’m put in the awkward position of having to actually walk through the doors of a dance club and spend some time there. Then the inner turmoil begins. Do I give in to my dancing desires or do I stay on the sidelines to avoid obnoxious drunk people stepping on my feet?

I’m happy to break it down to all the jams the DJ plays, but I just wish everyone else would disappear. If I’m out on the dance floor, I’m constantly looking for a spot with some space away from people. Here are some tried and true methods I’ve found for clearing a space for yourself:

  1. Develop a signature dance move. Mine involves waving my hands to the side and stepping across as much floor space as possible. The more room you cover, the better. People will either be impressed or afraid, but they’ll step aside.
  2. Fart. If you can’t fart, just make farting noises. I learned this method last weekend when a nearby dancer decided to employ it. It worked and I moved far away.
  3. Start singing the lyrics to every song very loudly. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know the words. In fact, it’s better if you don’t.
  4. Pretend to spill your drink on the floor and then make a really big deal out of trying to keep everyone safely away from the spot. Don’t really spill your drink though, because that would be reckless.
  5. Group your friends into a circle and then get in the middle of it to dance. I never do this one because it involves being the center of attention. I’m guessing if you have my problems with being at a club, you also won’t choose this option, but it’s available in an emergency stranger-situation.

So, if you’re an introvert with anxiety who finds yourself on a crowded dance floor, these tips are my gift to you. They can also be modified for use at an uncomfortable high school reunion or a grocery story on a Sunday afternoon.


Leave a comment. Just try it. It will be fun, I swear.