I was looking back at old drafts I wrote on this blog to see if I had any interesting ideas I might want to expand upon. Ultimately, I didn’t find anything worthy of deeper analysis, but the exercise was not entirely regrettable. I got to reminisce about time last year when the country panicked over a massive Netflix outage, reconsider whether robo-bees could solve the world’s pollinator problems, and dig deeper into important topics like the kind of squash in your cans of 100% pumpkin (hint: probably not pumpkin). It’s possible there’s a reason these ideas stayed in the drafts folder—but I have ignored that reason and shared them with you now, because I’m a rebel like that.
The most mysterious post, though, was one that said only: Yesterday. It didn’t have a period at the end of the word, but I had to put one there because I’m not a maniac.
I don’t know what that draft post means. Was I so distracted by something amazing that happened the day before that as soon as I started to write about it I went into a daze? Was I so horrified by what had happened I couldn’t write anything more? Did I start writing a post and then get hit in the back of the head by a stranger who was trying to hide the truth?
We’ll never know for certain. So let’s all just agree that I probably became aware of some significant international espionage secrets and decided to share them with you on this wide-reaching blog. As soon as I started typing though, the spies who had been following me realized I was going to let the cat out of the bag. They sprung into action, snuck up behind me, put me to sleep with some classified gas-like substance, and deleted everything I’d written—everything but the first word. Before they could erase the entire post, I woke from my stupor, and they rushed to disappear back into the night. Now, all that’s left of those valuable state secrets is just one word: Yesterday.
Basically, I’m Jason Bourne, but instead of trying to track down answers, I’m just going to eat toast and read a book. Like Jason wishes he could do.