Someone out there is trying to tell us the press is our enemy. He’s been spreading lies about how they’re our greatest threat and how we must defend ourselves against these horrendous, conniving nerds with notepads and laptops. This person has clearly lived a life of privilege, because there are a whole bunch of things I’m way more afraid of than the New York Times.
Here’s a short list:
- long lines
- peeling potatoes
- tight pants and buffets
- commercials where babies talk
- trying to close a pocket knife
- leaning on a railing
- over-plucking my eyebrows
- making uncomfortable small talk
- invisible mold
I could keep going, but I’ve worked myself into a frenzy of fear just thinking about this list. I’m going to go read a trustworthy news site to calm myself. I suggest you do the same.