While You Were Out


I’ve been away for a while, both from this blog and from home. I know you’ve been wishing I was here posting my thoughts and sending them out to the interwebs. There was nothing that could be done though, I was just too busy with all kinds of wild and crazy things. What wild and crazy things, you say? Here’s an incomplete list:

  1. Eating fancy donuts in New York from a food truck I’d been trying to find for literally years. I think this means I’ve accomplished all I can this summer.
  2. Eating non-fancy but delicious bagels in New York, because New York.
  3. Eating bad fake meatloaf in San Francisco. I thought San Francisco was supposed to be the hipster capital of the country, but I was wrong. Turns out, it’s mostly just people who think they’re modern geniuses.
  4. Eating great tacos in San Francisco. I considered smuggling the tortillas home with me but they snuck into my belly too fast.

Ok, let’s be honest here. I’ve been doing a lot of eating. We can move on. Here are some non-food related activities:

  1. Binge-watching a great show on Netflix about people getting sucked into an alternate universe. Consequently, watching the lights flicker in my house suspiciously.
  2. Catching Pokemon, obviously.
  3. Avoiding a stranger who decided he’d like to take a walk with me for “no reason.” I don’t think so, stranger. I know that reason and I’m not about to get kidnapped by some creepy dude. ABV. (That means Always Be Vigilant. I made it up just now but it’s legit.)
  4. Spending the night at the St. Louis airport, freezing and uncomfortable. Then spending the day in my tiny house, warm and cozy.
  5. Melting away in the swamp that is my city. For some reason, this melting isn’t helping me get in any better shape.
  6. Fighting the final throes of a battle against a nerve-attacking bacteria that really wanted to make its way to my brain. After the donuts, this is probably my second biggest accomplishment of the summer.
  7. Planning an end-of-summer trip for Dave and I to check out from the world and wander the forests of the Pacific Northwest like dirty hippies.
  8. Avoiding aggressive raccoons. Don’t worry, full story on these dangerous beasts to come.

So that’s just a snippet of what’s been keeping me from the internets these past couple weeks. Luckily, I’m now home and attached to technology, so here I am. You can end all hunger strikes and search parties. If you didn’t even noticed my absence, congratulations on having a full and adjusted life. You don’t have it rub it in by gloating to the rest of us. Jeez. Show a little compassion.

Leave a comment. Just try it. It will be fun, I swear.