Winter Weight


People usually have one of two opinions regarding this unseasonably warm winter. Either they’re happy about avoiding hat hair or sad about the melting Arctic ice. I’m here to add a new perspective to this very important conversation.

Our squirrels are getting fat. They’re so confused by the lack of cold, they just keep running around grassy parks and eating our pizza crusts. I can identify with the desire to keep on snacking, but it’s getting serious. Take a look around. The next squirrel you see will probably be just a little too chunky. Or more than a little. We’re gonna have to stage an intervention or create some kind of weight watchers for squirrels program. Squirrels don’t seem prone to commitment, so we should get the fees upfront.


One thought on “Winter Weight

Leave a comment. Just try it. It will be fun, I swear.